Of desires, dreams, and nightmares
by JoTerry
Summary: The final battle was a nightmare which led to all the other nightmares after that. Thank kami, though, that Kurosaki Ichigo manages to wake up from it all. Written for IchiRuki Big Bang 2016-2017
1. Chapter 1

**Of desires, dreams, and nightmares**

 ** _by Jo Terry_**

 **A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters.**

 **While the other fics I wrote on FFnet post-686 were canon-compliant fix-it fics, this one is ultimately the alternate ending to the Bleach manga. If it were up to me, the final battle would've definitely gone exactly how I've written it here.**

 **This fic was written as a one-shot. A very long one-shot but it took forever for me to upload the entire over 16k words as one file so I had it split into six chapters. Probably easier for everyone to read, anyway.**

 **Thank you, jobananasan for reading my first draft. Your comments and suggestions have helped tremendously. Thanks also for listening to my depressing rant during my 'heartbreak' moments. Haha!**

 **Also, I would like to thank my partner beyondtheborderridiculous (tumblr) for the artwork she has come up with for this fic. I'll reblog her piece once it's up.**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

Rukia's eyes shoot open from her slumber at the weight on her chest that is suffocating her. Forcing herself up into a sitting position, she takes big gulps of air to get as much oxygen back into her lungs as she possibly could before focusing on adjusting her _reiatsu_ to calm her nerves… and the nerves of the other person who is trying to choke the hell out of her.

"Ichigo…" she breathes, mildly irritated as she squeezes her eyes to feel where his _reiatsu_ is coming from.

Of course, she already knows where he is. The sun is not even up yet, which means he is at home, in his bedroom, having his usual post-war nightmare. During each of these episodes, his _reiatsu_ would often reach out towards hers in the dead of the night. It is an unconscious act, he claims. The nightmare is a common occurrence – whenever she is not near him – that has happened since the time she was taken back to Soul Society for her execution years ago. When Rukia gave him a questioning look at this new information the first time he admitted it, Ichigo only shrugged it off with an "I'm used to it by now." She never asked anymore.

After the Thousand-Year Blood War, his dreams would be filled with images of him losing the battle to Yhwach, losing the world to a tyrannous King, and worst of all, losing Rukia again. Of course, he'd conveniently omit that last part every time he describes his nightmare to his best friend after calling out to her in his sleep and having her _shunpo_ – in the speed that could rival her brother's – to his home in the Shiba Manor.

The first couple of months when it happened, she would arrive at the side of his _futon_ just in time for him to ambush her into a life-crushing hug. It was really weird at first – both of them being the 'not so touchy-feely' type, but over time, it has become less awkward and more natural. They have both accepted the fact that Rukia is the only one who could ease Ichigo's emotional anxieties, sometimes even lulling him back to sleep with her presence alone.

It has been six months since Yhwach was defeated. Ichigo's post-traumatic stress disorder with regards to all that he has been through has significantly improved. This is all thanks to the distractions of helping set Soul Society back in order, the twice-daily _zazen_ , and a kick in the arse every once in a while by his father to snap him out of it.

The best method, however, is Rukia's therapy _kido_. She does it for him three times a week for about one hour every session. All she does is focus some healing _kido_ energy from the top of his head to the bottom of his spine during his evening _zazen_ while she sits behind him. He always comes out of it at peace with himself and his surroundings.

While Ichigo has somewhat recovered from most of the trauma and is sometimes able to go two or three nights without the terrors, this morning's episode seems to be quite intense, judging by the way Rukia could almost feel the 'nails' of his _reiatsu_ clawing at her. She curses the distance between the Kuchiki and Shiba estates on the way there while wondering if his Hollow has returned. This is rather unlikely, as Kurotsuchi Mayuri has made sure that he is a pure Shinigami now that he is permanently staying in Soul Society. After all, his Quincy and Hollow powers were sucked out by Yhwach during the final battle.

The doors of the mansion are already wide open when she arrives. Shiba Kuukaku is standing at the entrance with her arms crossed over her huge chest, looking positively annoyed at the ruckus her orange-haired cousin is causing in this ungodly hour of the morning.

"Please incapacitate him before he brings the whole house down," she growls at Rukia.

The petite _fukutaichou_ of the 13th Division nods as she rushes past the other woman towards Ichigo's part of the house. Sliding the door of his bedroom, she feels her heart drop right down to her stomach at the sight of her wartime _nakama_. It must've been a really frightening one this time around because he is already sitting up on his _futon_ with his back against the wall, his orange head buried within his folded arms that are crossed over his knees. There are streaks of sweat down his bare back and he seems to be trembling.

Grabbing his bath towel from his chair, Rukia hurries towards him to cover his back as she rubs her hands over the fabric to soak up his sweat.

Ichigo looks up with a gasp when he realises that it is her kneeling beside him. "Rukia!"

"Hey," she mutters, her hands going over his entire back to make sure he is dry.

He turns his body to face her and grabs her shoulders gently, the towel falling off his back as he does so. "I'm in Soul Society, right?"

Rukia tilts her head and regards her best friend questioningly. She's usually the one asking questions when this happens. "Yeah…" she replies slowly.

"I'm staying with the Shibas, right?"

She nods.

"The war ended but that's it, right?"

"Err…"

"I'm not fucking married to Inoue. Am I right?" Ichigo is almost screaming in her face by now.

Rukia arches her brows and gapes. _Married to Inoue?_ she repeats in her head. Her shocked expression gradually fades into that of amused.

"Rukia…" he calls out to her again, the grip on her shoulders tightening.

"You're married to Inoue," she begins. It is meant as a question but it must have come out sounding like a confirmation to him.

"What?" He pales.

The Kuchiki heiress bites her lower lip. "You had a dream you were married to Inoue?" Ah, there's the correct tone.

"So it's just a dream?" Ichigo asks, his hands loosening his hold on her. "Tell me it's just a dream, Rukia."

"I would if you told me the reason why you're more terrified than before. A dream about you and Inoue being married can't be as bad as losing to Yhwach."

Ichigo casts her a glare as he lets go of her shoulders, causing her to stumble a bit from her kneeling position. "It _is_ bad! It's worse than getting killed by Yhwach! How could I be married to her when I… when I…"

Whatever restrain Rukia has on herself diminishes as she bursts out laughing at Ichigo's over-reaction to his dream.

"There was also a boy. And he had those puppy dog eyes that would look innocently up at you."

"Puppy _dog_ eyes?" Rukia snickers.

Ichigo scowls. "Yes! He had orange hair like mine."

"And Inoue's," she supplies, secretly enjoying his odd distress over something like that.

"What?" he shrieks and glares at her incredulously before he clutches his head with both hands. "Crap! No, no, no… And Tsubaki was the one looking after him."

Rukia covers her mouth but her shoulders are still shaking. "So in this dream, you and Inoue had a son. And his babysitter was one of Inoue's flower powers," she summarises for him between hiccups of her giggles.

Ichigo scrunches his brows in a tight knit as he continues to shoot her his death glare. "It's not funny, Rukia. Why are you laughing?"

The _fukutaichou_ gets up on her feet, an arm bracing her aching stomach while she paces around his room to try to calm herself down.

"Midget!" Ichigo growls through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry," she laughs. "No, I'm not, actually. It _is_ funny. I don't get why you're breaking out in cold sweat over a dream of being married. It should've been a pleasant one. You even had a son. Heck, you're married to a hot babe."

He snaps, "Shut the fuck up! It's not something I want."

Rukia halts her steps in front of him with her hands on her hips. Even though he is sitting on his _futon_ , she is only a little over a head taller than him from where she is standing. "It's just a dream, Ichigo. Why are you so mad?" she asks, still amused.

"It felt so real. I think I must've slapped myself a few times so I could wake up but the dream kept dragging on for a long time before I finally did. I panicked when I thought I couldn't come out of it," he explains.

That serious look on his face makes her laugh out loud again. She reaches out to ruffle his already messy orange hair and feigns a pout. "Poor Ichi, tewwified of a teeny tiny dweam."

Ichigo swats her offensive hand from his head and spits, "For your information, you were married to Renji and you had a redhead daughter who looked like a female version of the pineapple."

Rukia's eyes widen in horror before she narrows them at the man. "Stop dreaming of the absurd, _Baka_!" she yells and kicks him hard in the shoulder, sending his back crashing into the thin wall behind him before she stomps out of his room.

Ichigo huffs as he lets his body fall sideways onto his bed. "I'm not marrying Inoue," he mumbles. "And you're sure as hell not marrying that fucktard if I have a say in this. Ever."

* * *

 _Six months prior…_

 _"_ _No way…" Abarai Renji growls. The other Shinigami who are with him are equally as astounded when the rubbles before them settle._

 _Beside him, Kuchiki Rukia's violet eyes widen as she perceives the person she never thought she would ever see again in over 18 thousand years. "You're…"_

 _There's only death for those who stand in his way. And the man that appears from inside the darkness is…_

 _"_ _Aizen!" Rukia gasps in disbelief._

 _And there he is, the former captain of the Fifth Division of the Gotei 13, the wielder of Kyoka Suigetsu, and the traitor to Soul Society, bound to his 'throne' as he stares right back at her with his calm and collected demeanour. Aizen Sousuke._

 _"_ _Oh, long time no see," he says, tilting the corners of his lips in slight amusement. "Kuchiki Rukia." He lets his ears get used to the sound of his own voice for the first time in two years. "But then again, I never did get to speak to you after I left the Gotei. Well," he pauses when he notices the badge that is strapped to her left arm. "Congratulations on getting your promotion. It's great that they're finally acknowledging your services."_

 _Rukia narrows her eyes, recalling all the things he put her through. "You should've been locked up. What are you doing here?" she asks, enraged._

 _"_ _They let me go," he replies as if it's the most expected thing in the world._

 _"_ _Enough of that!" Rukia yells. "Who'd do…"_

 _"_ _It was me," says a voice from behind Aizen._

 _The group of Shinigami gathered stands rooted to the ground, shell-shocked. "Kyouraku-_ taichou _!"_

 _"_ _I'm sure you'll ask me to explain myself," the would-be_ soutaichou _of the Gotei 13 begins._ _"Let me tell you this: we need his powers."_

 _Renji exclaims, "What are you saying, Kyouraku-_ taichou _?"_

 _"_ _Wha-? But…" stutters Rukia. What in the world is this_ taichou _planning to do?_

 _"_ _Are you sure this is a good idea?" Hisagi questions. His personal hate for the man surfaces as he feels the anger inside of him boiling for both of his former_ taichou _, Muguruma Kensei and Tosen Kaname._

 _Madarame Ikkaku does not hesitate to voice his disapproval, "I sure as hell don't agree with asking for help from someone like him!"_

 _"_ _I second that," says Ayasegawa Yumichika. "There's no way we can just forget about all that he's done to us."_

 _"_ _You know no shame," spits Sui-Feng._

 _"_ _All this talk is a matter of pride, isn't it?" Kyouraku-_ taichou _asks. "Well, let's talk about the Gotei, then. Pride won't save the world. We need to fight evil with another kind of evil. I don't think I'm evil so where does that put us?"_

 _There is silence. The Shinigami are exhausted and they realise that they've used up every ounce of their energy during this war and it doesn't seem like they are anywhere near winning._

 _"_ _Looks like the discussion is over," Aizen says, breaking them out of their thoughts. He glances at Kyouraku-_ taichou _who is standing beside him. The bearded man gives him a nod. "Rukia-_ san _," he calls._

 _The_ fukutaichou _of the 13_ _th_ _Division blinks._ Did he just call me? _she thinks as her eyes meet his. She does not know what is on his mind. Aizen Sousuke has never been somebody who is easily read._

 _"_ _Come here." His voice is low and quiet, yet commanding._

 _Rukia takes a step forward but Renji reaches out to grab her arm. "What are you doing?" he asks, gritting his teeth._

 _"_ _I am not going to hurt her, Abarai," Aizen assures._

 _Rukia nods at her childhood friend as she slips out of his hold and walks towards where Aizen is seated. Kyouraku releases the binding on Aizen's right arm. Rukia stands directly in front of the brunette who has a patch across his right eye. She watches nervously as he lifts up his hand, pulls down the scarf around her neck, and taps his two fingers between her collarbones._

 _Behind her, Ikkaku and Yumichika are trying to restrain Renji from rushing forward to pull Rukia away from the criminal. However, their struggles cease when blue light emits from under Aizen's fingers._

 _Rukia gasps, realising what just happened as she feels the familiar power in the depth of her chest._


	2. Chapter 2

**Of desires, dreams, and nightmares**

 ** _by Jo Terry_**

 **A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters. If I did, it would've ended like this.**

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Ichigo and Rukia sit beside each other, patiently waiting for the captain of the 12th Division, Kurotsuchi Mayuri to return from his laboratory with their latest test results. It is their monthly check-up after the war. To be honest, they are both getting pretty tired of coming back to this 'research centre' for the same tests every month. But it is necessary for Rukia because of the presence of the Hogyoku within her and for Ichigo because of the massive _reiatsu_ which he obtained from all the training to defeat Yhwach.

Even during the war, Kyouraku Shunsui – who has later become the _soutaichou,_ has foreseen that Ichigo would not be able to go back to the world of the living after destroying the Quincy. His spiritual pressure was already beyond what the mortal world could handle. That was the reason why Kyouraku himself had dropped by Karakura to present Ichigo's classmates with soul tickets so they could visit him. He knew for sure that there was no way the substitute Shinigami would be able to set foot into that world again without causing some kind of damage to the balance of the souls, what with his tendency to awaken spiritual pressures of other humans who are near him.

One week after the war ended, when it was revealed to the humans that Ichigo would have to stay back permanently in the Soul Society, it seemed that it was something the _ryoka_ had expected just as much. Ichigo himself does not have any objection and is more than willing to embrace his new life. His only condition is that his sisters would be able to visit him regularly.

Shiba Isshin is also held back following the return of his Shinigami powers. He now takes over the role as the head of the Shiba clan which Kuukaku has been sitting in for him all these while. Father and son currently reside in Soul Society, building up their own noble house just outside of the Seireitei. The Kurosaki girls are living under the custody of Urahara Kisuke and Shihoin Yoruichi at the _shoten_ back in Karakura.

"Kuchiki- _fukutaichou_ ," Kurotsuchi addresses as he sits across the hero and the heroine of the Thousand-Year Blood War. "Your spiritual health looks very good from the last test. I can safely say that it is stable now despite the Hogyoku being buried inside your body. It seems to have made itself at home and your body is also very welcoming of it. I don't think you will be having problems with it from now on."

Rukia suppresses the urge to leap for joy. She has been quite worried about the effects of the orb being embedded inside her again, although she doesn't show it. She has even psyched herself that if she were to die because of this foreign object residing inside her chest, it would be worth it as it has served its purpose at saving the worlds from Yhwach.

"Thank you, Kurotsuchi- _taichou_ ," she says with a respectful bow.

"This also means that you will be able to resume your duties and take on missions in the world of the living if you must," the masked Shinigami continues before turning his attention to Ichigo. "As for you, Kurosaki- _san_."

Ichigo perks up and observes the captain who retrieves a black box from one of his desk drawers.

"Your test results also came back looking very well. It appears that your spiritual pressure is consistent and healthy. We do have some very good news for you, on top of that," Kurotsuchi says, sliding the box across the table towards Ichigo.

"What's this?" the orange-haired Shinigami asks. He eyes the box curiously but does not make a move to touch it.

Kurotsuchi smirks and leans back in his chair. "Urahara- _san_ and I have successfully invented a _reiatsu_ regulating band especially for you. This one only works for you alone because it has a bigger capacity than the normal one to store the energy of a Shinigami that is above the level of a captain. It can probably even restrain those of the Zero Division's."

Ichigo carefully lifts up the lid of the box where he finds a red and black armband with the _kanji_ of his name on it. "So what does this mean?"

"It means that you can now travel as you wish to the world of the living. In fact, you can even go back to live there as a normal human being in your old body if you'd like," Kurotsuchi explains.

Ichigo nods mindlessly, still regarding the band in the box. He doesn't really know what he thinks of it and of the fact that he is cleared to return to the living world to live a human life.

Beside him, Rukia is also torn between being happy for him that he can get his life back and a little disappointed that he will be leaving her once again.

* * *

 _Six months prior…_

 _Kurosaki Ichigo can't seem to land a hit on Yhwach. It looks like the Emperor of the Wandenreich can read all his moves clearly._ There has to be some kind of limit to his ability, _Ichigo thinks._ I've got to find out what it is.

 _Reading his mind, Yhwach says, "I see you searching for it: the blind spot in my ability. The future can be changed. If you're capable of growing and maturing during a fight, then the future I saw shifts into a different future. I'm assuming that's your train of thoughts right now."_

What the hell is he talking about? _Ichigo asks in his head. His mind is already muddled. The Quincy King just keeps yapping away about his future and something about him making a fatal miscalculation. And as he continues to trash talk at him, Yhwach is inflicting cuts and slashes across Ichigo's body without even touching him. At least, that's what he thinks._

 _"_ _The future you see does not wind down a single road. The future diverges from a single point in time… like countless grains of sand scattering in the wind."_

 _Still talking._

 _And slashing._

 _And piercing._

 _While Ichigo just keeps trying to make a strike._

 _And fails._

 _Keeps getting up._

 _And falls._

 _Yhwach continues to talk about the grains of sand._

 _Ichigo continues to see flashes of his future._

 _It is hurting his eyes, hurting his chest, hurting his whole being to see things that he does not want in his future._

 _And then, Yhwach begins talking about hope, about despair._

 _That's when Ichigo feels it… the despair. With all the different futures screening before his eyes like horror movies, the despair sinks deeper within him and enrages him. Despair of his horrid past of losing his mother, losing his powers, losing Rukia, leading to more despair of several versions of his future that he doesn't want at all._

 _Without a clear head, he calls out his_ bankai _. He should've known better that without a rational drive during a battle, he would only cause more damage than good when he summons Tensa Zangetsu._

 _Sure enough, it breaks right before his very eyes. He watches helplessly as the other end of his blade drops to the ground with a loud clank, all while his hand is still keeping a tight grip on the hilt._

What the hell is going on? Was it broken? No… I didn't feel his _reiatsu_ at all. And he hasn't even moved from where he's been standing!

 _Ichigo doesn't think that Yhwach could have broken Tensa Zangetsu. But how, then? He stares wide-eyed at what's left of his_ zanpakutou _and the other piece that is lying like a piece of scrap metal before him._

 _"_ _Do not look so frightened, Ichigo. I simply expressed my respect to your power. Your new Tensa Zangetsu is a fearsome_ bankai _indeed. That is what I've concluded. So through the future, I broke it," Yhwach answers his question without ever hearing it vocalised._

What? _the word is lodged in Ichigo's throat but he does not seem to have the capability to speak as his enemy's attacks and jibes continue to surprise him._

 _Yhwach flashes a pleased and smug look at the Hybrid. "I'm sure you probably have no idea what I'm talking about but sadly, you won't have the luxury of trying to figure it out either," he mocks. "Ichigo, I told you not to let your guard down, didn't I?"_

Snap!

 _Ichigo grunts in pain as he feels the single horn of his Hollow form break at the side of his head. The Horn of Salvation. He realises just in time to see it being hurled towards him and barely manages to swat at it with his broken sword before it makes a strike at him. He hasn't even recovered from the swing when he feels Yhwach's strong presence behind him and just like that, he is thrown like a ragdoll across the ground they are battling in. He knows, then, that the man he is fighting with is completely invincible and another quick attack should be expected because Yhwach did already warn him about letting his guard down._

 _Finding his voice and desperately needing a shield because he knows he is definitely not ready for that attack, Ichigo howls, "Inoue!"_

 _The girl comes running towards him, a hand reaching out to cast a protective shield over her friend. But the look of horror on Ichigo's face tells her that it is too late. Blood splatters out from the orange-haired man as Yhwach's sword slices through his back._

 _"_ _But how?" Inoue gasps, her eyes glisten as she helplessly watches her power fail to protect Ichigo whose body is badly battered. She swears she is at least two seconds faster than Yhwach but still he manages to reach Ichigo before her. "I defended against it…"_

 _Before them, Yhwach stands glorious and victorious. His black cloak swishes about him with the wind and his huge arse sword is held proudly by his side, ready for another go anytime._

 _"_ _Did you question it at all?" he sneers. "How simply, just by being able to see the future, I could accurately place traps in each and every place you would step? I'm sure you were skeptical and had your doubts somewhere in your mind. And indeed, you'd be correct to do so. 'The future can be changed.' That's what you said, isn't it?"_

 _A gust of wind swirls around them as Yhwach increases his suffocating_ reiatsu _._

 _"_ _Well, just to clarify, 'The Almighty' is not the power to see the future. It is the power to transform it," he continues, throwing a menacing look at Ichigo. "Yes, yes. Despair for me, Ichigo!"_

 _Inoue witnesses with dread, how Ichigo's spirit is being squashed with despair the more Yhwach speaks about his future. She sees Ichigo struggling not to be beaten by his discriminating words. Yhwach keeps telling him that he cannot change his fate like he used to because now, the Emperor is omnipresent in his life._

 _"_ _Change it," Yhwach bellows. "And I shall chop down any fate you try to carve out for yourself. Go on, you can despair now, Ichigo!"_

There is no way out. He has taken away my future and replaced it with those that would make me miserable. Even if I kill him, I cannot change my fate, _Ichigo tells himself, the despair that Yhwach drills in his head shoving him deeper into his depression._

 _"_ _No more fight left in you, Ichigo?" the Quincy sneers, grabbing a fistful of his orange hair from behind. "I expected so much more…"_

 _Ichigo feels hopelessly pathetic in his state. His sword has no effect on Yhwach, neither does Inoue's shield._ It's over, _he thinks, being left on his knees as if waiting for his decapitation._

 _"_ _This is what I got all worked out for?" Yhwach continues to insult the Shinigami_ daiko _who was once a captain-class_ samurai _, dropping him on the ground like the trash he thinks he is. "What a waste! Rather, I suppose you did provide me some entertainment. Now then, for your final duty…"_

 _Unable to even lift a finger, Ichigo gingerly tilts his head up to see Yhwach stretching a hand over him._

 _"_ _It's time for the power that I so generously granted you to return to its rightful owner."_

 _Ichigo feels all the energy seeping out of him towards the hand of his enemy._ The Quincy power within me and the Hollow power that was mixed along with it… They are both disappearing and fading away to pure white.

 _With the last ounce of energy completely drained out of him, the once-Hybrid falls to the ground to the cruel laughter of the Quincy King who has taken everything away from him. His mother. His powers. His identity. His future. His heart's desire. Rukia…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Of desires, dreams, and nightmares**

 ** _by Jo Terry_**

 **A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters. If I did, it would've ended like this.**

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Once again, Ichigo wakes up in cold sweat from the nightmare. This time, it is about what had truly happened during his fight with Yhwach. His near-failure has always haunted him. It is at times like these when he needs Rukia to remind him that the war ended victoriously on their side and not on the enemy's.

And speaking of Rukia…

"You, all right?" she asks in the gentle tone that she uses whenever she comes to attend to him at such times.

Ichigo sighs, "Hey, you're here." And he realises that once again, she is rubbing circles on his chest with the palm of her small hand.

"Yeah," she replies, nodding absentmindedly as her brows crease across her face in concern. "I arrived five minutes ago. Been trying to shake you out of it since. Which one is it this time?"

Ichigo sits up, causing Rukia to retrieve her hand in the process. He immediately misses her calming gesture but chooses not to mention it. Running a hand through his unruly orange hair, he exhales long and hard. "It's that part before you came over."

She nods again, folding her hands in her lap. This was the part that has haunted him the most and she's heard him describe it many times. Even though she wasn't there at the scene, she can feel his devastation at almost losing the battle. That moment when he thought it was all over for them, that Yhwach was winning, that everything he did was in vain because Yhwach was about to turn the worlds into one huge playground of his. That was the moment when Ichigo came face-to-face with his biggest fear and he had despaired along with it.

"I did come. And we defeated him together. We _did_ win," Rukia assures him.

"I know," Ichigo whispers, swallowing the lump in his throat as he gazes into her violet eyes.

He will forever be grateful for that moment when she came.

* * *

 _Six months prior…_

 _Rukia and Renji arrive at the soul palace to find Inoue critically disabled and Ichigo losing to Yhwach with his_ bankai _broken in two._

 _"_ _Farewell, Ichigo," they hear the enemy say. "From this moment on, I no longer have any need for you or my children, the Sternritters. Just sit back and watch from here. As I bring ruin to it all; Soul Society and the real world."_

 _At the sound of their footsteps, however, he bares his teeth at them, hoping to intimidate them so they would leave. He recognizes Rukia immediately as the one who would most probably be able to put the drive back into Ichigo._

 _"_ _It's rather insulting, having these insignificant pests coming after me in droves," he snarls, looking over his shoulder at them. "With your bodies on the brink of exhaustion, I'd be amazed if you could take even one more step from there."_

 _The two_ fukutaichou _watch curiously as Yhwach reaches a hand into a circular portal._

 _"_ _But if you truly wish to come for my head, then by all means, please do. I shall leave this gate open for all of you. And if any of you do choose to pass through, then in light of your exceptional spirit and fortitude, I shall bestow upon you a most extravagant and luxurious death," he threatens._

 _Renji takes a step forward, ready to charge at the man but Rukia puts up a hand to stop him._

 _"_ _Take Inoue to safety, Renji. Shit is going to go down," she says calmly, keeping her eyes on the Quincy standing in front of the black warping gateway._

 _"_ _Are you sure?" the redhead asks._

 _Rukia waves a dismissive hand at him. "Just do it."_

 _When she is certain Renji has gone to move Inoue away, the petite Shinigami runs towards Ichigo and swiftly kicks him in the shin despite him looking so damaged beyond repair. "_ Baka _! Get up and pull yourself together," she screams at him._

 _"_ _Rukia," Ichigo croaks. "I can't… My_ bankai _… He's taken away my powers."_

 _Crouching next to him, she hauls him up by whatever that is left of his_ shihakusho _and levels their eyes. "You're not giving up right now. We're going to fix this," she tells him, her voice filled with conviction._

 _"_ _We can't…"_

 _"_ _Shut up! We're doing this_ our _conventional way." And with that, she drives Sode no Shirayuki right through his heart for the third time in his life._

 _Still in shock, Ichigo feels the familiar_ reiatsu _flowing through his veins – Rukia's_ reiatsu _. It immediately awakens what's left of his Shinigami powers and heightens it to its full capacity. He feels the vibrancy and the heat as he finds his_ zanpakutou _back in his hand, repaired and whole._

 _At the sight of the transformation, Yhwach laughs and reminds Ichigo of what he has told him just minutes ago, that he would take Ichigo's future with him if the lad were to destroy him. "The two of you are pathetic to think that this is going to change anything."_

 _Rukia understands, then, why Urahara says the result of the battle would be up to both her and Ichigo. She also understands why the Hogyoku was returned to her: to grant the desire of her heart. And because she shares an everlasting bond with Ichigo, their hearts also share the same desire. Grabbing the sleeve of his_ shihakusho _, she asks him out loud, "What does your heart desire, Ichigo?"_

 _His amber eyes gaze deeply into her violet ones as they share a moment of trust. They smile knowingly, intertwining their fingers while saying, "To protect a mountain load of people."_

 _"_ Bankai _…"_

 _"_ _Tensa Zangetsu." "Hakka no Togame."_

 _The Hogyoku's blue light glows from Rukia's chest as she transforms into her_ bankai _form and freezes the feet of a surprised Yhwach while he is on the way through the portal._

 _Ichigo remains unaffected by the ice even in his own heated transformation with his hand still holding Rukia's. He watches her ice queen form in awe, pride, and affection, a smirk on his face while completely ignoring the screaming Yhwach whose bottom half of the body has turned into ice._

 _"_ _Remember, Ichigo! I hold your future in the palm of my hand. Think carefully before you put an end to my power! I am your father. Without me, you do not exist!" Yhwach roars, panic evident in his voice at the realisation that it is he who has done the fatal miscalculation this time around. He did not foresee that Rukia's Hakka no Togame could freeze time and work his way towards him so quickly before he could invade those few seconds into the future to alter it._

 _Ichigo turns to glare at the Quincy leader – who is up to his chest now in ice – with utter disgust. "I am the son of Shiba Isshin and Kurosaki Masaki. No one dictates my future but me. My destiny is to protect. With that, I shall destroy all forces that threaten the lives of those I protect. And you are one of those forces I am about to destroy."_

 _Yhwach's face is frozen in its expression of horror as Hakka no Togame's power completes its effect on the Quincy's entire form._

 _"_ _Finish him, Ichigo…" Rukia pleads, her voice merely a whisper._

 _Ichigo turns his attention back to her, his brows knit tightly together when he realises that her face is contorting in pain, tiny crack lines appearing on her icy skin. "What…"_

 _"_ _Ichigo, please," she whispers, puffs of cold air emitting from her lips as she speaks. "You need to strike him down before he thaws together with me."_

 _Keeping his eyes on Rukia, Ichigo slashes his_ zanpakutou _in Yhwach's direction, sending a wave of red across the frozen villain's body which then cracks and dissolves into the air._

 _Ichigo pierces his sword into the ground next to them to free his hand so he could place his palm on Rukia's cheek. "Take your time. Thaw slowly," he encourages. The warmth of his_ reiatsu _helps her_ bankai _to thaw at a gentle rate so she wouldn't break apart._

 _When they both finally return to their original form, Rukia collapses into Ichigo's arms. "Rest now, Shinigami," he mutters with a sigh of relief as he buries his nose in her dark locks._

 _Rukia chuckles weakly. "It's not Shinigami, you_ Baka _. It's Rukia."_

 _"_ _Whatever, Midget."_

* * *

Ichigo wakes up for the second time that morning. This time, though, his head is cradled in Rukia's lap. The woman herself is asleep with her back on the wall, her hand buried in his orange spikes. He realises that he has fallen back to sleep after the previous episode of nightmare.

It is always very comforting when Rukia is with him. All his fears and terrors seem to fade away in her presence. He does not want to admit it but sometimes he thinks his dependency on her is getting out of hand. While one part of him secretly enjoys the attention he is getting from her, there's another part that wonders if she thinks of him as a nuisance. Although, the first part often reminds him that Rukia would never think of him that way because of the bond they share with each other. He would've done the same for her in a heartbeat. She is a huge part of his life. And with the way she has changed his world, he knows deep down that he wants to be a huge part of her life as well.

This isn't something that just came up out of the blue. The feelings he has have been around since his resolution to save her from her execution. He wasn't very certain about it, then. But when she returned to the world of the living and appeared at the window of his classroom, he knew she has taken over his soul.

Pushing himself off Rukia's lap, Ichigo sits up slowly and turns around to face her sleeping form. Her hand drops to her side with his movement but she remains in deep slumber, a soft snore leaving her as she breathes through the small gap of her mouth. Her head is turned to one side and Ichigo is certain that she cannot be comfortable in that position. So he puts his arms around her shoulders and waist to lift her up a little so he could straighten her folded legs before lowering her fully onto his _futon_. He chuckles quietly when she grunts a weak protest, her body immediately curls up towards him the minute it lies on the flat surface and relaxes into it.

Ichigo regards his petite friend for a moment. _No, she is more than a friend by now,_ he thinks to himself as he brushes away the lone strand of hair that always falls between her brows. He has always loved how it brings attention to her big violet orbs when she is awake. Or how it flutters every time she huffs an agitated breath whenever she is pissed off at him.

He realises now just how long gone he is. He cannot imagine ever living his life without her. All those times when she was not by his side, he was deader than an empty _gigai_. And now that they have finally found a bit of peace and an eternity of being together in the same world, he is going to find an opportunity to tell her about it soon. _Maybe once the 13_ _th_ _Division office is more or less sorted out,_ he resolves.

Ever since he has recovered from his physical injuries, he has been helping her out at the office. With the death of Ukitake- _taichou_ and Kotetsu Kiyone's transfer to the Fourth Division to assist her sister as a _fukutaichou_ , Rukia is badly in need of extra hands to fix up the office while completing the endless amount of paperwork that does not seem to know when a person or a squad needs to recuperate from a near-apocalyptic mess.

Rukia's stirring takes him out of his thoughts. He looks at the clock on the wall and notes that she usually wakes up much earlier than this. Her body must have known unconsciously that she has slept in later than usual.

"Hey," he greets, watching her eyelids open in reluctance. The crease at her brows deepen in irritation as her eyes adjust to the light from the ray of the sun that is seeping through his windows.

"Ichigo?" she says groggily. "What time is it?"

The orange-haired man hides a small smile at how childlike she is in the morning as he tries to ignore the few beats his heart has skipped at how beautiful she always looks to him. Her smooth, porcelain skin only evinces the image of purity he has of her in his mind.

However, any minute now, she is going to start freaking out and turn into the violent, loud midget he also knows her to be…

"It's 10.30."

"What?" Rukia shrieks, her head barely missing Ichigo's chin when she bolts out of bed. "We're late, _Baka_! We're supposed to meet Sado and the others at the gate at 11."

The former _ryoka_ shrugs and leans his back on the wall. "I've got time. We're just three _shunpo_ stops away from where the _senkaimon_ will be opened."

Rukia turns around and glares at him. " _Your house_ is three _shunpo_ stops away from the gate. Mine is a few miles from there. Have you noticed that I am still in my sleeping _yukata_? _Kami_! What is _Nii-sama_ going to say if he sees me going home in this right now?"

Ichigo feels the heat rising up behind his neck as he only just noticed her quite-revealing silk nightie that is showing a bit of skin on her chest and so much creamy legs. He promptly stretches his arms above his head and pretends to yawn to keep the blush from creeping up his cheeks. "Che, what is there to worry about?"

"Idiot Strawberry! It's not appropriate for a woman to spend the night in a man's place," she replies, getting up to straighten out her disheveled _yukata_ , unknowingly giving him a peek of her lace-covered ass.

The memory of finding her naked in the healing springs at the Soul Palace flashes through his mind. _"Aren't you going to say she looks like a peach?"_ the Royal Guard, Kirinji Tenjirou had commented.

 _Fuck! Stupid, sexy midget..._

In his defence, he is a perfectly healthy young man.

"You didn't spend the entire night here. You only came over in the morning. Besides, isn't it a bit too late to worry about that? You slept in my closet for a couple of months, remember?" Ichigo reasons.

Rukia pivots on her heels, planting her hands on her hips as she narrows her eyes at him. "Don't be so lackadaisical about this. I'm a Kuchiki noble," she chastises.

"Who spent plenty of nights in the small confines of my closet…"

"Shut up! I'm going. See you at the _senkaimon_. Please apologise to them if I arrive late," she says, stomping her way out of his room. Again. As always.

Ichigo chuckles. "How un-Kuchiki of you."

"I heard that, Kurosaki!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Of desires, dreams, and nightmares**

 ** _by Jo Terry_**

 **A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters. If I did, it would've ended like this.**

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

The war with Yhwach left the entire Soul Society in utter chaos. The Shinigami began picking things up as soon as they were able to move their limbs. Many of them were badly injured, especially the captains and high-seated officers. Many also perished. The first thing the surviving ones did was gather all the bodies they could find and bury them in groups before the sunset daily. This ritual was repeated for ten days until they were certain they had combed the entire land for their fallen comrades. On the final day, a heartbreaking funeral ceremony was performed in remembrance of those Shinigami who have sacrificed their lives.

The survivors were only allowed a couple of days of rest and mourning before they had to set to work at reconstructing Soul Society. They began with the Seireitei as this is where the defence and command centre is.

The Espadas have gone back to Hueco Mundo to rebuild their home as well, after the Shinigami helped Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez and Nelliel tu Odelschwanck retrieve Tier Harribel from the dungeon of the soul palace. The Queen was badly wounded and on the brink of death, but being the stubborn fighter that she was, she survived with the help of her own rapid regeneration.

Urahara Kisuke, Shihouin Yoruichi, the unseated Visored, and the humans went back to the world of the living around the same time. There were still humans dying and souls to be purified in the real world.

Six months after the war, most of the barracks of the Gotei 13 have been repaired. Further renovation will continue to take place but they need to move on to the other parts of Soul Society. They have just started on the outskirts of the Seireitei, gradually moving towards the Rukongai Districts.

The Shiba estate was fortunately left with little damage. But Kuukaku and Ganju insist on building a huge extension for Isshin and Ichigo. The older Kurosaki is also planning the construction of a medical centre for the souls outside of the Seireitei. As rogue Shinigami, the two do not have much to do now that they are not able to return to the real world. The _soutaichou_ has promised them positions as visiting trainers at the academy once it is back in operations again. So running a medical centre seems like a good idea. At least that was the plan until they recently found out about the _reiatsu_ band that was specially invented for Ichigo. Isshin will continue with his plan on his own if Ichigo decides to go back to his human life.

Speaking of human life, Kyouraku- _soutaichou_ has invited Ishida Uryuu, Yasutora Sado, and Inoue Orihime back to the Seireitei for an award ceremony. This is to show Soul Society's appreciation for their service during the war.

Here at the First Division's hall, Ichigo stands between Rukia and Renji as they witness the _soutaichou_ tie the medals on the upper arm of their human comrades. Rukia did not manage to get to the _senkaimon_ at all that morning. Fifteen minutes after she left the Shiba estate, Ichigo received a message from her _jigakucho_ , telling him that her brother has caught her sneaking in through the backyard while she was just about to land from a tree, almost burrowing the uptight noble into the ground. At the present moment, Ichigo is still trying to hold back from busting his gut as he recalls the frantic voice carried by the black butterfly.

"Care to share?" Renji whispers, nudging an elbow at his friend's side.

Ichigo snickers lightly, turning his head between them and motioning for Renji to do the same. As quietly as possible, Ichigo relates to the redhead what is on his mind that is tickling him silly.

At the mention of his _taichou_ being almost crushed under a midget in pyjamas, Renji's hand slaps over his mouth to muffle his chuckles. Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Hisagi Shuuhei, who are standing behind the two, eye them curiously as Matsumoto Rangiku's eyebrows arch with interest at their topic of discussion.

Hearing the snickering of the two beside her, Rukia glares sideways at them, stomping hard on the foot of the nearest person, which unfortunately is Ichigo. The former _ryoka_ lets out something that sounds like a controlled high-pitched shriek and a low groan, which causes Renji and the other four behind them to break into fits of laughter as well.

"Ah, Ichigo- _kun_ and company seem to be having a bit of an entertainment at the back of the hall," Kyouraku- _soutaichou_ remarks after clearing his throat.

All eyes are now on the group that is stunned silent by the attention they are getting. Rukia's head couldn't go any lower in embarrassment and she does not need to look at her brother to know that he is absolutely displeased with her association to the rowdy gang.

The three _ryoka_ who have just been bestowed their knighthood bear a similar knowing smirk on their faces. They know very well that trouble always follows their former classmate, Kurosaki Ichigo.

" _Gomena_..."

"There is no need to apologise, Kuchiki- _fukutaichou_ ," Kyouraku cuts her off with a chuckle, making her feel even more guilty and uneasy. "You remind me of my youthful days. The ceremony is over, anyway. You are all dismissed."

The group files out of the First Division hall together with the rest of the Shinigami present, failing to notice that Kuchiki Byakuya has stopped his sister – most probably to reprimand her. Despite the tension they experienced earlier, the six of them burst out laughing when they are completely outside the hall.

A moment later, Rukia marches up behind her tall fiery-haired best friends and tugs them by the ears so they would follow her away from the crowd and be beaten into a pulp for making her look like a fool.

* * *

No celebration is complete without a good drinking session at the _izakaya_ on the First District. At least that's how it is for the group of Shinigami who have the habit of celebrating with endless rounds of _sake_. While Ichigo isn't one to hang out in a bar and socialise, he allows himself to be coaxed into joining the gang for tonight since it is an after-party thrown for his human friends.

Looking around the bar, he notices that most of the Shinigami are long gone. Renji is snoring away beside him. Rangiku, being the ringleader as always, is laughing hysterically with Shuuhei, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Iba Tetsuzaemon. He notices that Kyouraku has toned down quite a lot on his drinking since his best friend, Ukitake Juushiro has passed away. He is now just enjoying a sober conversation with _Otou-san_ and Ise Nanao.

Ishida, Chad, and Inoue are sitting at the same table as him and Renji. Rukia has excused herself a while ago to drop something off at the Kuchiki Manor. She will be staying the night at Ichigo's place to accompany Inoue. The other two _ryoka_ are also staying there.

"Is it true that you will be able to return to the living world?" Ishida asks. The three of them are only drinking tea, as they are still under-aged.

Ichigo, on the other hand, has gotten quite used to having a drink or two of an alcoholic beverage ever since he started going to the Kuchiki Manor for dinners whenever Byakuya feels like inviting him over. "Yeah," he replies, taking a sip of his _sake_. "Urahara and Kurotsuchi invented this band that only holds my _reiatsu_ so I can visit the real world as I wish."

" _Visit_? Urahara told us that you can even _live_ as a normal human with that band," Ishida says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Chad appears relaxed in his seat but Inoue seems to be anticipating for an answer as she sits up straighter and leans over from her end of the table to hear him.

Ichigo shrugs. "Yeah, that too."

"Have you decided?" It is Chad's turn to ask, even though he suspects that he already knows the answer.

"Not really. Still thinking about it."

At his answer, both Ishida and Chad are certain right there and then what Ichigo has decided on. They are happy for him because they know where his heart is but at the same time, they are worried for their other friend who may have hoped too much for just the opposite.

Ichigo himself has arrived at that decision the same day Kurotsuchi gave the band to him. Right now, it's not that he doesn't want to tell his friends what it is. But rather because he hasn't told Rukia about it and he feels that she should be the first to know.

The group of friends steers away from the topic, knowing full well that Ichigo does not want to discuss further. They go into an easy conversation, updating Ichigo on the things that are happening back in the real world and he, in turn, tells them about his life in Soul Society.

Rukia has been gone for more than half-an-hour and Ichigo is getting restless. He doesn't quite like the atmosphere in the _izakaya_ when it's nearing midnight. The crowd tends to turn a little too crazy for his taste later into the night. They still have to wait for the petite woman, though because they are supposed to walk back to his home together. He also doesn't like the idea of her traveling on her own outside the Seireitei so late at night, even though he knows she is more powerful than any possible threats that could come at her. Early mornings are different because there are less horny, drunken men. _I think._ Sometimes, he wonders where his logic comes from. But then again, when it comes to Rukia and for her sake, logic has always been something he would willingly defy.

"Kurosaki- _kun_ ," Inoue's voice takes him out of his thoughts.

Ichigo looks up at her and blinks a couple of times before his mind registers her standing right next to him as opposed to where she was sitting earlier on at the end of the table. "Ah, yes, Inoue."

"M-may I have a m-moment with you?" she stutters, her fingers laced together in front of her.

"Sure," he replies, motioning to Rukia's chair beside him. "Have a seat."

Inoue glances at the chair before turning her head towards the entrance of the _izakaya_. Facing Ichigo again, she asks, "Shall we take a walk outside?"

The orange-haired hero hesitates a nod. Rukia would be back any moment now and he is dying to get out of here. Rising from his chair, he tells Ishida and Chad, "When Rukia comes back, let her know we'll be just outside." Without waiting for their reply, he follows Inoue out of the bar.

They walk in silence for a few minutes until they reach a bridge overlooking a small village. Inoue stops and turns around, catching Ichigo off-guard when she looks up at him with glistened eyes. Her head tilts to one side and her lips tremble as she struggles to say what she wants him to hear.

"K-Kurosaki- _kun_ , I..." she stammers. The next words seem to have gotten stuck in her throat before she rushes through them like a train. "I like you."

Ichigo is struck speechless. He has known for a while now that Inoue harbours feelings for him and has always thought it to be some kind of an infatuation; a hero idolatry or something. He has never expected her to confess to him because... Can't she see that he is interested in someone else? He figures his actions all these while have been so obvious. Maybe not to that particular person – because she is one hell of a thickhead – but to everyone else, shouldn't it have been as good as it is written all over his face?

"I hope this confession does not trouble you. I've never wanted to tell you because I thought I would never stand a chance. But since it is possible now for you to come back to the real world and live a human life, I would very much like to try and see if we could be more than friends," she rattles through in one breath. It seems that speaking really fast helps her with her stuttering problem whenever she is around Ichigo.

The man crosses his arms and looks ahead at the tiny houses in the village. The voices of the noisy people in the bar can be heard behind them, albeit sounding quite far away. All around them, the world seems to be going on but in his mind, it is at a stand still because he can't quite figure out how to say what he wants to say without hurting her.

"K-Kurosaki- _kun_..." she calls out to him again, her voice is as timid as always.

Ichigo glances sideways at her and realises that she is lightly touching the sleeve of his _shihakusho_. So lightly that he does not even feel it.

 _Typical Inoue._ Always going around, not daring to put too much weight – too much pressure – anywhere, either for fear of being rejected or of being too forceful. She deserves somebody who is more compatible with her; somebody who would want to protect her fragile little heart, her innocent little mind, and her delicate touches. He knows who that somebody is and he hopes someday she will also know who it is.

* * *

Masking her _reiatsu_ , Rukia crouches on the branch of a tree not far from where her two friends are standing at the bridge. Her keen hearing catches every word the girl is saying to Ichigo.

She has always known that Inoue was in love with him. The way the girl blushes and gets all jittery whenever she is around the strawberry idiot proves just how head over heels she is about him.

There was a time in her life when Rukia thought she could be the one for Ichigo. But whom was she kidding? They are from two separate worlds. After the war, she thought something could happen between them. Then, Kurotsuchi and Urahara made the band for him, giving him the opportunity to return to the real world to live as a human. And he deserves it. After everything he has done for Soul Society, he deserves his normal life back.

Suppressing the lump in her throat, the _fukutaichou_ allows a small smile to assure herself that she is happy for her friends. They are both humans and are able to give each other the love and life they both need. They could grow old together. That's what matters in a human relationship. Growing old. Progress.

Keeping her head down, she _shunpo_ back to where Ishida, Sado, and Renji are.

* * *

Ichigo curses in his head. Back at the _izakaya_ , he didn't want to tell Ishida and Chad the answer. Right now, he still doesn't want to reveal it to Inoue. Rukia has to be the first to know. He heaves a long sigh, knowing that he has to do what is right by everyone. "I'm sorry, Inoue. You're like a sister to me. You always have been."

The first tear travels down the woman's face and before either of them could say anything, the dam is broken and Inoue is furiously trying to control her sobbing, wiping her face with the heel of her palms. "But you're going back to the real world, right? Can't we give it a chance to see if you will change your mind?" she pleads.

Ichigo furrows his brows, half-irritated that she cannot take 'no' for an answer and half-annoyed with himself for not being able to think of a better way to reject her without telling her his decision – the decision that he wants Rukia to know first. He does not why he is so adamant about having Rukia be the first to know. He just thinks that's how it should be. Shaking his head, he says, "I can't tell you anything right now. Just..."

A gasp leaves Inoue's lips as she brings her delicate fingers up to cover her mouth. "You're not going back."

Gnawing at his lower lip, Ichigo does not know if he's supposed to confirm her suspicions. He still _wants Rukia to be the first to know_ , dammit.

Inoue nods. "I get it now, Kurosaki- _kun_ ," she says.

The orange-haired man keeps the crease across his forehead as he wonders what she 'gets'.

"How I could be so foolish? This is the life you've always wanted. And..." she pauses, looking up at him with that expression in which Ichigo thinks he could see a hint of hurt. "And you're in love with Kuchiki- _san_."

Ichigo's jaw drops. _How the hell does she arrive at that?_ In love? Is that what it is? He's never been in love before. He knows he likes to spend time with Rukia and wants to be with her. But being in love is a huge thing. Does how he feel for Rukia qualify?

"It's true, isn't it? That's the reason why you're not going back. That's the reason why you won't give us a chance." It sounds accusative but Ichigo can neither deny it nor admit that she is right.

Head bowed, he runs his fingers through his orange locks before he looks up at her again. "I'm sorry," he repeats because... what else can he say?

With one last sniff, Inoue flashes him an understanding smile. "It's fine, Kurosaki- _kun_ ; as long as you're happy. Karin- _chan_ and Yuzu- _chan_ told me you'll be going back with them tomorrow. I just assumed it would be for good since you can live there now."

Ah, that's right. His sisters are visiting their father the next day. They finally get a day off and it so happens that it is the old man's birthday. Ichigo has offered to accompany them back to the real world in the evening after his _zazen_ session with Rukia. The award recipients will be traveling home at the same time as well. And he is planning to ask Rukia to come along.

"I guess I shouldn't have given myself the false hope."

"Inoue..."

She lifts a hand to stop him from saying more. To be honest, Ichigo is kind of relieved because he seriously does not know what to say. He mentally questions the effects of the _sake_ he drank at the _izakaya_. Shouldn't it have given him liquid courage or better speech ability or something like that?

"Don't worry about it, Kurosaki- _kun_. I promise I'll be fine. Thank you for listening," she says before letting out a strained giggle. "I think we should go back to the bar now. The others must be wondering what has happened to us."

Ichigo nods mindlessly as he leads her back to the gang.

* * *

Rukia arrives at the _izakaya_ to find Renji slumped over their table, fast asleep. She snorts and mutters something about a big baboon being lightweight before she assaults him by tugging at his ponytail several times.

" _Ano_ , Kuchiki- _san_ ," Ishida begins, pushing his glasses up. "Abarai- _san_ has been asleep for a while now."

The ebony-haired woman chuckles. "It figures. The pineapple has close to zero tolerance when it comes to alcohol. I'm going to take him back to his home," she declares.

Ishida raises a curious brow at that. He cannot imagine this petite woman lugging a man who is three times her size. "We can help you take him back. You just have to lead the way," he offers, getting up to leave.

"We should wait for Ichigo and Inoue- _san_ to come back," Sado says.

Rukia shakes her head. "It's faster for me to _shunpo_ him back to his quarters. This is not my first time carrying his heavy arse back, anyway. I'm going to make this real quick."

"Are you sure? You can always wait for Kurosaki. It's better for him to take Abarai- _san_ home, since he too can _shunpo_. He's just outside talking with Inoue- _san_ ," Ishida insists.

"I know. But it's fine. I can do this," Rukia replies, forcing a smile despite having been reminded of the conversation she came upon just minutes earlier.

Pulling Renji's arm over her shoulders, she yanks him up from his seat and walks him out of the _izakaya_. The redhead does not even flinch. Rukia huffs under his deadweight. He _is_ indeed really heavy; heavier than Ichigo because of their height difference and most probably also because of their muscular development. Renji has centuries on the young human.

 _Human_ , Rukia sighs. _That's what Ichigo is._

She is about to flash-step when Ichigo and Inoue arrive back at the entrance of the bar. They are walking side-by-side and Rukia couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy at how perfect they look together.

"Where are you going, Midget?" Ichigo asks, eyeing her and the 'load' she has on her shoulders.

"I'm taking Renji back to his quarters. Can't very well leave him here in this state even though it will certainly be hilarious when tomorrow comes," she replies. A little jest would take away all the tension and uncomfortable feeling she has right now.

"Let me do it." Ichigo reaches out to take Renji from her but she is quick to pull away from him. "Rukia..."

"It's okay. I can take him back."

"It'll be faster if I do it."

"No!" Rukia almost yells, surprising both Ichigo and Inoue. Realising how uncharacteristic that must've been of her, she smiles and assures him, "I'll be fine. You should head back inside and spend some more time with your friends before going back to the estate. It's getting kind of late."

Ichigo's face scrunches up in a frown. Rukia is acting weird and he wants to know why. _'Your friends'? Shouldn't it be 'our friends'?_ But he can't ask her that in front of Inoue. And he knows from that resolute look on the midget that she is not going to take up his offer to carry Renji back. The only thing he can do is to let her do it herself. "All right. But be back soon. We're going to leave for my house right after that."

Rukia shifts the sleeping Renji on her shoulders as she could feel him slipping off her.

Seeing her struggles and not liking the fact that she does not say anything back, Ichigo makes an attempt to help her with the weight of the other man. She immediately jerks away again. There is a wince on her face, which Ichigo cannot tell what it means. For someone who understands Rukia better than she does herself, he is suddenly feeling inadequate.

"I'll be right back," she mutters, flash-stepping away in one breath.


	5. Chapter 5

**Of desires, dreams, and nightmares**

 ** _by Jo Terry_**

 **A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters. If I did, it would've ended like this.**

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

It is almost time for lunch when the three _ryoka_ are gathered at the patio of Ichigo's quarters with Rukia, Renji, and the host himself. Isshin has gone out to fetch the Kurosaki girls from the _senkaimon_ and will be back shortly. Despite being dead drunk the night before, Renji has somehow managed to drop by the Shiba Estate at 10 am to begin 'annoying people', as Rukia has put it. Even though no one was sleeping in, she feels that they deserve a quiet morning without his loud hair.

"Be thankful I'm reserving some of my time to hang out with you lot," Renji grumbles.

Rukia snorts, "You're just here to avoid paperwork. Wait till I tell _Nii-sama_ you're playing truant."

"I don't see how Byakuya would have the heart to punish his boy toy, Midget," Ichigo chuckles.

"Bastard!" "Strawberry!"

The reactions from the two Shinigami cause Ichigo to laugh even louder, prompting the redhead to grab him by the front of his shirt before slamming him into the wall behind him. Ishida pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose while Inoue turns a shade pink at the insinuation. Renji hates to be teased like that while Rukia thinks it's disrespectful of the younger man to say such things about her brother, but Ichigo is an arsehole who likes to make fun of everybody. Chad remains quiet although there's an amused glint in his eyes.

"Let him go, Renji," Rukia says, rolling her eyes. "I'll send him to _Nii-sama_ later for a sparring session with Senbonzakura."

The orange-haired man, unaffected by Renji's attack, is still snickering away as he pries his friend's fists off of his shirt.

Several loud claps are heard before Kuukaku appears from around the corner of the house with her brother, Ganju and Bonnie the wild boar. "Break it up, boys," she orders and watches with a smug look as the 'boys' return to their seats. No one messes with Shiba Kuukaku. "I just want to know if you are all having lunch here in the estate. Need to plan how much to cook."

"I won't be around," Ishida says after clearing his throat. His friends turn to look at him curiously, eliciting a slight blush on his face. "I'm meeting Kurotsuchi Mayuri."

Ichigo arches his brows. "Oh?"

"It's none of your business, Kurosaki. But the scientist told me yesterday that he wants to see me, probably to talk about my grandfather."

Renji looks at the former Quincy slyly. "Are you sure it's not about what Nemu- _san_ left behind?"

The red hue on Ishida visibly deepens, causing the two tall Shinigami men to smirk at this. Ishida thinks no one knows the secret correspondence between him and the doll child created by the insane _taichou_ of the 12th Division. But those in Soul Society, especially the ones in the Shinigami Women's Association, have been making the pair a hot topic to talk about ever since the _ryoka_ 's invasion into Soul Society to rescue Rukia. Renji is currently filling them in on what he knows from the gossips of those women.

"Hey," Ichigo says quietly. "Sorry about Nemu- _san_."

Ishida narrows his eyes at his cousin. "There's nothing between me and her, Kurosaki."

"I'm just feeling bad for you, man." Ichigo raises both his palms up as a defensive gesture. "Whether or not you were together, she _was_ your friend and someone you were close with."

"Hn," Ishida replies, not willing to dwell further into the subject.

"Enough with the gossip, Abarai!" Kuukaku snaps, slapping Renji upside his head. "I swear, that body of yours needs a more masculine head equipped with the brain of a male soul. Your yapping can put even Matsumoto to shame."

The party bursts out laughing as the redhead glares at the elder Shiba who is not even the least deterred by him.

"So who else is _not_ staying for lunch?" Kuukaku asks when all the laughter has settled down.

Her brother, Ganju replies, "I'm taking Yasutora to the Rukongai to see Shibata- _kun_ for lunch, _Nee-san_."

His sister nods. "All right. Thanks for telling me only now, _Baka_ ," she chides, slapping _him_ upside the head this time. "Inoue, don't tell me you also have plans."

The orange-haired woman bows apologetically. "I'm sorry, Kuukaku- _san_."

"Oh yeah, that's right. I'm supposed to take you to the 10th," Renji cuts her off.

Rukia turns around to face Inoue with a questioning look. "Oh? You're meeting Matsumoto- _fukutaichou_?"

Inoue nods. "Yes, Kuchiki- _san_. She's taking me shopping somewhere."

"Ah, okay. I thought you will be joining the Kurosakis for their father's birthday lunch," Rukia mutters in nonchalance.

Ichigo narrows his eyes at his short friend, wondering why she would think that while Inoue's expression drops as her head dips lower. He does not know what is going on but Rukia hasn't been herself since last night when the gang walked back from the _izakaya_. They have not really spoken to each other as well. He's been trying to find time alone with her the whole morning to ask her but she seems to have busied herself by keeping Inoue company, chatting with his father during breakfast, or helping Kuukaku in the kitchen.

" _You're_ coming to lunch with us, Midget," Ichigo tells her.

Rukia snaps to her right to glare at him. "No, I'm not. It's your family affair."

"And that's why you're coming with us," he reasons, both oblivious to the others trying to steer away from their argument and pick up on their own topic of discussion.

"I'm not a Kurosaki, _Baka_."

Ichigo grits his teeth. He is so tempted to yell, 'Neither is Inoue' but he knows he will surely hurt the girl even more after what happened the night before.

"But you are my third daughter, Rukia- _chan_ ," Isshin declares out of nowhere, breaking the tension between his son and the tiny soul reaper.

Behind him, Karin and Yuzu flash wide smiles in greeting to everyone at the patio. Before Rukia could reply to that, the two girls have ambushed her into a hug. "Rukia- _nee_!"

Ichigo watches fondly as the three most important women in his life get lost in their own world, which only they know. There are many things that his sisters, especially Karin, refuse to share with him that they would tell to Rukia. While he feels left out at times, he is grateful to the midget for being their female confidante in the place of their mother. They certainly can't talk to him or their father about their puberty issues.

"Just so you know, we kind of have a feeling what your decision is," Ishida says, taking the orange-haired by surprise by appearing next to him.

"What the hell, Four-Eyes..." he whisper-shouts, glancing around to make sure no one has heard what the bastard said.

Ishida rolls his eyes at the nickname. He has mastered the art of tolerating the fruithead's uncouth habit of addressing him in a rude manner. "Whatever. Sado and I think that you should do something about Kuchiki before she gets the wrong ideas."

"What wrong ideas? And how do I know you're not just tricking me into telling you what I'm going to do?" Ichigo asks, folding his arms over his chest but feeling a bit more relaxed now that he sees that the others are having their own conversations in little cliques.

"You think we're stupid like you, Kurosaki?" Ishida smirks. "You're not going back to Karakura for good because you like your life here as a Shinigami. And Kuchiki Rukia is a huge bonus because you've had feelings for her for _kami_ -knows-how-long."

For the first time, Ichigo cannot find the words to retort. _Damn Ishida._

"We're right, aren't we?"

"Who's 'we'?" Ichigo demands.

"Sado and I, who else?" Ishida replies. "We didn't have the heart to tell Inoue but judging by the red eyes she came back to the _izakaya_ with last night, we're guessing you have already told her."

Ichigo sighs, not liking the fact that he is reminded yet again of what happened last night. "I didn't get to tell her anything except that she's like a sister to me. She came up with everything else on her own."

"A sister, huh? Then, why is she not invited to the Kurosaki lunch later but Kuchiki is?" Ishida taunts.

His former classmate grunts in irritation. "You _know_ exactly what I mean. Geez... And when the hell are you going to ask her out?"

Ishida sends him a death glare, his jaws visibly clenching. "I can't do that now. She's hurt. I'm going to have to wait until she's okay, no thanks to you."

Ichigo smirks at his cousin's reply. "You're not even denying that you're going to ask her out," he remarks.

The other man fights to control his blush again.

"What would Nemu- _san_ have said about this, I wonder..."

"I told you we were not together," Ishida snaps, wondering how it is that their focus has switched to him instead.

"Oh, but I heard that she used to like you," Ichigo says before remembering that Kurotsuchi Nemu was basically a robot. "I wonder how that emotion thing worked with her, though."

Ishida exhales a long sigh. "Her father pretty much fed a soul into her empty body. And for your information, she said she owed me for that one time when I saved her from her father. That's like you and Kuchiki, isn't it?"

Ichigo tilts his head and raises his brows, egging Ishida to look deeper into the similarity of their situations.

"All right, all right. Just like how you owed Kuchiki for saving your life. And just like how you fell for her as well. But I'm not like Kuchiki. I never had that kind of feelings for the person I saved."

Ichigo scoffs, "I don't even know if she feels the same for me."

"I think she does. But like I said before, you just have to get your act together before she thinks you're not interested."

"What do you mean?"

Drawing another long breath and feeling rather awed at how stupid Ichigo can be sometimes, Ishida throws him a question, "What do you think crossed her mind when you disappeared with Inoue last night?"

"Fuck..." Ichigo curses with a groan. "And I haven't even told her that I'm staying."

Ishida smirks as he gets up from his seat beside Ichigo, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Glad to know you're staying."

Realising that he has just admitted his decision to Ishida, Ichigo growls, "Bastard!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Of desires, dreams, and nightmares**

 ** _by Jo Terry_**

 **A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters. If I did, it would've ended like this.**

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

 _"_ _See you in the evening," Ichigo says, lightly punching Rukia in the shoulder after Isshin's birthday lunch._

 _"_ _Of course," she replies. "Can't pass up a chance to see you off."_

 _"_ _I was talking about my_ zazen _session."_

 _"_ _Oh," Rukia winces as she replies. "You still need me to conduct the therapy for you?"_

 _Ichigo furrows his brows, unsure as to why she has to put it that way. "Why not? It's Friday. We have_ kido _therapy on Fridays, don't we?"_

 _"_ _Ah," she replies, nodding absentmindedly. "Sure. I'll see you then." With a lazy wave, she_ shunpo _away from the Shiba estate to get some work done at her office._

As Rukia enters the Shiba property, she wonders if this would be her last time here performing the therapy for Ichigo. He's going back to the world of the living with his sisters after the _zazen_. _He's going back to his human life_.

It will be good for him, surely. He deserves the normalcy after having his life snatched away from him at such a young age. With Yhwach gone and Hueco Mundo under recuperation, Soul Society will not be needing him to continue his service as a Shinigami _daiko_. There are enough Shinigami in Karakura to purify souls. He can finally get back to being a normal student, a normal person who will eventually get a job, meet someone, get married, and have a family. She can just picture him being the doting father to several kids because of the way he is with his sisters. Ichigo is family guy.

When she arrives at his personal training ground, the orange-haired man is already seated Indian-style in just his _hakama_. His sword lies across his lap, held in his open palms. He has his eyes closed but Rukia can tell that he has not reached his inner world yet.

Quietly, she goes to sit behind him in a _seiza_. She places her _zanpakutou_ on the ground beside her before hovering her palms over his shoulder. At her height, she has to stretch quite a bit so she pulls herself up into a kneeling position, slowly moving her palms an inch above his skin as she focuses the blue energy of the _kido_ over his shoulders, down the rippling muscles that align with his spine, and heavy at the base just above the waistband of his pants. She repeats the routine over and over again like she usually does until the session ends. And even though Ichigo's back maintains a straight posture the entire time, his _reiatsu_ is calm and well-rested.

"You've got another day off tomorrow, haven't you?" he asks, breaking the silence between them 30 minutes into the therapy.

Rukia's _kido_ ceases for a moment as she is taken aback by his interruption. "We're not done yet. You shouldn't be talking," she reprimands in a low tone, getting back into the procedure.

Ichigo surprises her again when he turns around to face her. "I don't like what's going on," he asserts, gently pushing her airborne hands away so they fall to her sides.

She lands her backside on her heels with an agitated sigh. "What the hell are you talking about? Turn around. Let me finish this for the last time."

"The last time? What are _you_ talking about now?" Ichigo crosses his arms, determined to get her to talk to him.

Rukia averts her gaze as her eyes are currently leveled with his bare chest. She hates being short sometimes. "I said turn around, Kurosaki. You don't want to be late."

Ichigo scoffs. "It's just a trip back to Karakura, _Kuchiki_. In case you haven't heard, I can go back any time. It doesn't have to be this evening."

"Your sisters and friends are going back this evening. You might as well take the same trip. Why would you want to go at another time?" she demands, glaring up at him. _Kami_ , she hates how short she is. Compared to him, she really is dwarf.

Not one to back down, Ichigo glares back at her. "Because I can. There's no hurry. It's not like I have to apply for an annual leave from the _soutaichou_ or something."

"Don't be stupid. The earlier you return to the world of the living, the faster you get to settle back down in your life. And of course, you don't have to apply for a leave. You're free to choose which life you want."

Ishida's words ring in Ichigo's head, reminding him that Rukia still does not know what his plans are. Even though he can guess she must've misconstrued that he's choosing to live as a human, it still hurts him to know that she thinks he would leave her. "Why are you so adamant about me going back to the real world? What if I want to stay here in Soul Society?"

"Because you're being a fool if you choose to stay here," she replies.

And he realises that both their silly assumptions of each other are hurting themselves more than anything because it is evident in their voices.

"Ichigo, you have your whole life waiting for you in the real world. It is only logical for you to have your life back now that everything is peaceful once again," she continues before he gets to say anything. "The war is over, there are no threats to the three worlds now, so you can focus on your studies, go to the university, get married, and have a family."

Ichigo furrows his brows and wonders why she can't see how unrealistic that sounds when 'normal' to him is being right here in Soul Society. "You would like that, won't you?"

"Why not? It's ideal. You're young and alive. You deserve to have a normal life after all that you've been through. After all that _we've_ put you through," Rukia presses on, unknowingly pissing him off even more.

Ichigo decides to humour the small woman a little by throwing back at her with something sarcastic. "Yeah, why not, right? In fact, I'm sure I would have it easy because everything's in place for me back at the living world. By the time I get back, I'll be in time to enroll myself into medical school. Heck, I could even get married and have a kid with _gentle eyes_."

"That's right! You'll be marrying Inoue," Rukia states, getting up from her position on the floor because she suddenly feels even tinier than she already is.

Ichigo also stands up, now towering over her in an intimidating way. "Of course! That's a given. She confessed, you know? Last night at the _izakaya_."

"I know. I heard," she replies. As if shielding herself from something, she crosses her arms and backs away from him.

He tilts his head and smirks as he asks her accusatively, "You were spying on us?"

"No!" Rukia almost yells. "I was on my way back to the bar. That's when I overheard the two of you talking."

"Why haven't you said anything, then?" Ichigo demands, his hands planted on his hips. He didn't really mean it when he asked her if she was spying on them. He thought that maybe Inoue had mentioned something to her when they bunked in together last night.

"Why should I? It's none of my business. And besides, it is a good thing, isn't it? Your dream is finally coming true. What the hell were you so afraid of?" She chuckles, the bitterness felt by both of them as an after-taste. "Everything truly is falling into place for you. You'll marry Inoue and have an orange-haired son with her. I should congratulate you now. You're getting your heart's desire!"

"Of all people, _you_ should know what my heart's desire is," Ichigo mutters through gritted teeth.

"I do. And like I said, it's coming through. I'm happy for you." Turning around, Rukia takes a couple of steps away from him. Her voice is starting to crack and she is afraid that she will break down if she keeps looking at his stupid, handsome face. She will surely miss the perpetual scowl, the smug look whenever he knows he is right, that tousled orange mane of his that flaunts the juvenile side of him that she has come to love so much.

"Are you?" Ichigo murmurs from behind her and she realises that he is almost touching his chest to her back.

"Of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be?" she asks, unable to control the stammer in her voice.

"Because you know that going back to the world of the living is definitely not what I want."

She doesn't know why but their voices seem to be getting lower and quieter. It could be because they are standing very close to each other now. _He_ is inching closer to her. _She_ is frozen in her spot and unable to move a muscle.

Dragging a long sigh, she tries to remain calm and ignore the pounding in her chest. "What the hell are you talking about? It _is_ what you want. You said it yourself: Everything's in place for you there."

"That does not mean it's what I want," he says, placing his hands on her hips to turn her around to face him.

Rukia gasps, the sudden movement causes her to lose her balance and her hand shoots up to his chest to avoid falling against him. Having forgotten that he is shirtless, her hands grab at the skin on his pectorals instead.

Before she could back away from him once again, Ichigo pulls her into him, his arms encircle her waist possessively. "You _know_ that's not what I want. Why do you keep pushing me away?"

Rukia's hands now grip his forearms, still determined to get away from him even though he keeps tightening his hold on her. "Because you deserve it. The normalcy," she tells him.

Ichigo's brows scrunch up in a tight knit. "I deserve it? After fighting for Soul Society, I deserve to go back to a mundane life in the world of the living? After fighting for us, I deserve to be separated from you again?" he questions, making sure to show that her words are slicing him into pieces.

"Ichigo..."

"I fucking love you, Rukia," he proclaims, surprising both of them. He never planned on saying that to her so soon. Heck, he does not even think he is capable of saying things like that although he knows his feelings for her are deep. It's a little too late to back out of it now and he doesn't want to, anyway. "I only want to be with you. After all that we've been through, I think what comes next is us being together with nothing to come between us. I told Yhwach that no one decides my future except me. I meant it. And my future has you in it, by my side, for all eternity."

Rukia heaves a shaky breath, her lips tugged between her teeth. She has stopped struggling against him while he was still talking and decides that she cannot ignore the sincerity in his eyes. "What if," she begins cautiously, "what if I don't want to be with you?"

The former _ryoka_ arches a brow as he recognises the glint in her eyes. His devilish little actress. A very lousy little actress, he might add. "Have you forgotten that all your opinions are rejected?"

The girl makes an attempt to hit Ichigo on the head but her fist is captured midair before she feels his lips touch hers. Rukia's eyes widen at his unexpected action and she tries to chide him for catching her off-guard but he continues to press his lips against hers, increasing the pressure the more she protests until the only thing she can do is to retaliate by biting his lower lip.

The gesture elicits a moan from him. He does not draw back. Instead he intensifies the kiss, slipping his tongue into the crevice of her mouth. It is her turn to moan and she finds that she is no longer able to resist further. She gives in to his challenge and battles it out with him, her hands cupping his cheeks to bring his face down towards her while she pushes herself on the tip of her toes to make up for their height difference.

Desperately needing air a few moments later, the two part, completely breathless with their gazes drowned in each other's bright eyes. Their hearts beating in unison and their hands unwilling to leave the places they are holding on to. Ichigo notices that he has one arm around Rukia's waist, restraining her to himself while his other hand is buried in her black locks.

"You're sure you don't want to be with me?" he smirks, running his fingers through her hair which he has disheveled in his fervent need to articulate his feelings towards her. He decides he is going to get addicted to the softness of her tresses pretty soon.

Rukia searches his eyes for any hint of regret he might have. She finds none but her disbelief wants more confirmation even though Ichigo's voice was filled with conviction when he declared his feelings for her earlier on. At this rate, she knows he's going to get so annoyed with her doubt but she wants him to be certain of his choice.

"What about Inoue?" she asks.

Ichigo's hand halts its movement through her hair. "What _about_ Inoue?"

"She'll be hurt. She loves you."

"It's an infatuation, Rukia. She knows that I don't feel the same for her. She even guessed correctly that it was you that..."

Rukia chokes, "Shit! No! This was last night? How is she taking it? Did you make her cry? Why didn't she say anything? I was sharing a room with her."

"Maybe she didn't want to make it awkward for you," Ichigo figures.

The _fukutaichou_ tries to shove the freakishly tall Shinigami male away but he keeps both arms wrapped around her. He knows she has a habit of removing herself from people when she feels guilty about something.

"What kind of a friend am I?" she whispers as she rests her forehead on his chest.

Ichigo tilts her chin up so she would look him in the eye. "We can't help whom we love, Rukia. She knows this, too," he says, stammering over the 'L' word that he is not used to saying. It keeps giving him the odd heartbeats and fluttering feeling in his stomach. He still cannot believe that between the two of them, he is the first one to spout cheesy stuff.

"Was she okay, Ichigo?" Rukia asks in concern.

"Did she look okay today before she left with Renji?"

Rukia tries to recall all her time with Inoue since the night before until Renji took her to meet Rangiku for lunch. The young woman must've been pretty good at disguising her disappointment. She cannot imagine how she could appear 'okay' after being rejected by the man she's been in love with for years.

"Now that I think about it, there wasn't a trace of grief at all. Or maybe I was too insensitive around her. I really thought that the two of you would've gotten together after her confession last night," she admits, her cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment at her misconception.

Taking her hand, Ichigo guides her to a bench by the wall of his training ground. He sits down first before pulling her onto his lap. " _I_ am the one who should be grieving because you don't seem to accept that I have feelings for you," he says, tugging the stray fringe between her eyes.

Rukia rolls her eyes, pushing herself off him. She still feels too shy about being encased in his arms; or even touching him. "Says the man who holds the heart of two women," she remarks.

Ichigo smirks, tightening his hold on her, practically pinning her to his lap. "Is that a confession from you?"

Blushing furiously, Rukia tries again to get out of his embrace.

"Stop squirming, Midget," he grunts. "After all that we've been through together and the bond that we share, can you honestly tell me that you didn't see this coming?"

Rukia sighs, surrendering to his embrace as she leans her head on his shoulder. "I guess I did but I feel bad for robbing you off your life, robbing you off your future, and now, robbing Inoue off the love she wants. I stepped into your life and dirtied it and now I'm taking you away from your family and friends. Do you have any idea how horrible I'm feeling right now?"

"Cut the crap, Rukia!" Ichigo snaps, holding her face with both hands to make sure she sees that he means what he is saying. "Where do you get off claiming that you've robbed anyone off anything? Ever since I've known you, you've only been giving and _kami_ knows how much longer you've been doing that in the past. You're the one who awakened my Shinigami power and repeatedly returned it whenever I lost it so I could protect everyone. We've been partners at saving the world plenty of times over and there's no way I could've done any of that shit without you. So could you please stop putting yourself down because you're insulting me and my choice."

Rukia ponders silently the things she has just heard. It's amazing how this brash young boy whose life she crashed into at the age of 15 has matured over such short years. It feels like they've known each other for an entire lifetime because he has grown so much in every aspect.

Brushing the side of his face with her knuckles, she gives him a small smile that's packed with pride, honour, joy, and that 'L' word that he mentioned earlier. Should she tell him the same? That word feels so foreign to her because she has never really experienced much of it to know that what she's encountering right now is an elaboration of what it means.

Then again, the thumping in her chest, the churning within her stomach, and the heat she feels on her cheeks seem like all those things she read about in the _shoujo manga_ she stole from Yuzu back when she was living in Karakura. Those signs of humans falling in love.

It's funny how the effects of her awakening his power do not just end with him being a Shinigami. It also makes her almost human. To be able to feel as one, think as one, and desire as one. To be able to have a goal as one as well, instead of just seeing her life as 'practically living to die saving souls'. Right now, after coming clean about their feelings, they are able to look forward to having a future with each other in it. It also gives them a purpose to fight to stay alive so they could be by each other's side for all eternity.

 _For all eternity,_ Rukia thinks. Sounds like so much to look forward to. It's definitely the future she'd pick anytime and she thanks _Kami-sama_ that she and Ichigo share the same bond, the same desire.

"You're awfully wordy today. What gives?" she teases, ruffling his hair.

Ichigo harrumphs in agitation. After all that he has said, she chooses to make fun of him. "Because there's no way for me to get any point across to you unless I'm being direct. You're dense as hell."

Rukia snickers. "I may be dense. At least you could just knock some sense into me. You're cheesy, what with all that sappy shit you were spouting. There's no saving you, you poor hopeless romantic."

"Oi!" Ichigo pushes Rukia's back onto the bench they are sitting on, quite satisfied with the surprised yelp she lets out when he keeps her from going anywhere with just a huge hand planted on her flat abs. "You should be honoured to have a hopeless romantic for a boyfriend instead of some airhead," he says, his body now hovering over hers, their noses touching.

At the word 'boyfriend', Rukia blushes fiercely again as she tries to pry his hand off her. "When the hell did I agree for you to be my boyfriend?"

"Need I remind you that your opinions are rejected?" he snarls in mischief, capturing both her hands and pinning them to her chest with one hand.

Rukia groans, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. Despite the fact that she sees him as the reason for her to stay alive, he is going to be the death of her. "Whatever, Strawberry. We can argue about this some other time. You've got a group of tourists to take back to the real world."

Ichigo's lips tilted into a shit-eating grin as he pecks her on her lips. Getting off the bench, he pulls her up with him. "You're coming with me. There's no way I'm going to leave you here right after we just got together," he tells her, taking her hand and leading them out of his training ground.

" _Baka_! You don't get to tell me what to do."

"Oh yes, I do. Because before I even tell you, you already know it's what you want to do. We share the same dreams and desires, remember?"

Rukia smiles at that. It is true that their desires, dreams, and even nightmares are the same. And these are the things they will courageously face together for all eternity.

* * *

 **I sincerely hope all of you IchiRuki fans enjoyed this story. This was written and completed in December, and will be the only thing I have for the IR fandom for** ** _kami_** **-knows-how-long. It has been a while since I've last come up with a good IR story idea. I've got quite a few incomplete ones in my Mac but I've been so uninspired to continue any of them because of the neverending crap Bleach has been getting. I had even stopped checking into tumblr and had just gotten back now in time for IRBB.**

 **Stay strong, stay united, and keep the fics and arts coming, my fellow comrades! IchiRuki will always remain the tightest pairing ever.**


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